Ten Types Of Dancers In The Club

According to Nali Sharon on Ghafla News there are Ten Types Of Dancers In The Club

She said they are: 1. The Person Who Actually Knows How To Dance And Is Making Everyone Else Look Bad. No matter how terrible the DJ, there’s always one person out in the middle of the dance floor who looks like they are auditioning for "Can You Dance". They might be naturally gifted, they might have practiced endlessly infront of their mirrors, they might been in a dance group/class for 15 years–maybe all three–but as entertaining as they are to watch: ultimately we all just want them to sit down. 2. The Ironic Dancer. This person doesn’t have the slightest bit of confidence in their dancing abilities so they carve out a niche for themselves as the fun “club clown.” They might do the helicopter, slide or azonto to make you a laugh, but inside they wish they could effortlessly sway their hips to the beat like their friends. 3. The Awkward Guy/Girl Who’s Trying Not To Look Uncomfortable. Unlike the HOT Guy/Girl, this person knows they can’t dance, but for the sake of their friends or their significant other or their pride, they make a half-hearted attempt. Steer clear of them, they are prone to random fist pumping and jerky movements. They are responsible for most accidental spilt drinks, and they account for about 60% of people at any given club. 4. The Hot Girl/Guy Who Sucks At Dancing But No One Has The Heart To Tell Them. He/she looks like John Allan Namu, like Tero Mdee , but the person dances like Kajairo. I’m sure as hell not telling anyone anything. Are you? 5. The Couple Who Might Be Having Sex On The Dance Floor. Dancing at a crowded club can be kind of stressful–it’s hot, sweaty, people are pushing, throwing elbows–so when you spot an empty corner of the dance floor, you always wanna rush there and claim it as your dance territory. BEWARE: that corner is empty for a reason. There’s probably a suspicious substance on the floor. OR there is a couple humping each other against the mirror, and there will soon be a suspicious substance on the floor. 6. The Girl's Night Out/Birthday Girls/Bachelorette Party. Composed of 5 to 20 women. Once this group hits the dance floor, every member merges into one feathered, sequined creature that winds and steps to the beat in unison and screams “This is our sooooong!” about EVERY song. Steer clear. 7.The Aggressive Song Requester. APPARENTLY this person doesn't have access to a car OR home radio, own an iPod, a smartphone or mp3 player of some sort. Because their ONLY goal when going clubbing is to dance right next to the DJ booth, screaming requests for ONE particular song over, and over, and OVER. But what's usually so baffling is these people are never requesting some obscure Ukoo Fulani Mau Mau track they really want to hear for at least ONCE IN THEIR LIFE in the club. They always want to hear the biggest pop/dance track of the moment. “Play ‘Starships’! Play ‘Starshiiiiiiiips’!” Chic, wait 10 minutes. “Starships” WILL be on the playlist. And it has nothing to do with your annoying persistence. 8. The Person Who’s Dancing To Their Own Song/"White" Dancer This person is alone, eyes closed, so feeling it, gyrating to a rhythm that no one else can hear. A well educated guess says that riddim is called “Ecstasy”, but you really can never be sure. Maybe they genuinely have no sense of rythym! 9. The “Look! We’re Lesbians..... Except Not Really!!!!!” Believe it or not, just grinding with your girls used to be a SURE way to grab attention on a crowded dancefloor. Then “Bend-Over” came out and now you’ve gotta engage in some SERIOUS girl-on-girl PDA to even get noticed. Men out there, don't worry, there are always a few desperate teens prepared to rise to the challenge.

10. The Roving Grinder. Ah yes, everyone’s "favorite" club attendee. This guy roams around the dance floor, casually bobbing his head to the music in between grinding on random women. It's not too clear if his goal is to set a personal grinding record, or if he’s actually a misguided hopeless romantic who believes that someday one of his victims will turn around, look into his expressionless eyes and say, “I love when creepy strangers rub their penises on my back. Let’s start a relationship.”